Day after day the sun rises and lowers, the stars come adorn the night sky. All the while the hands of the clock go round and round, hour by hour. Both of these coincide with the world spinning on its axis and rotates around the sun.
Up early every morning for a long hot shower and a fresh set of cloths. All this done in preparation for another day at work. A daily fresh hot, yet very routine breakfast of an egg sandwich.
All day long spend time at work with a smile on your face and being friendly and social with co-workers and customers. Performing every assignment in a timely manner and to the best of your ability. Biggest challenge of any work day is not letting anyone know the truth.
Meanwhile the deep down truth is that it’s all a just a coping mechanism, a wall, a façade meant for everyone else to see. You in all reality just want to hide away in your dark apartment and not interact with another living soul.
Then when you finally get home all you want to do is sleep and hope and dream of a world where everything is going according to plan. But, what little sleep you do get is not restful and then reality comes crashing back upon waking up. On top of that there are days where you have to force yourself to just eat since you just don’t have the motivation to do so.
This is all due to the overwhelmingly huge weight that is just dragging you further down. Every day the weight just seems to get heavier and heavier dragging you further and further into the depths of despair.
It all too often feels like there is only one way out of the darkness and despair that you are feeling. That being to end it all with one finally and grand jester. Even though that is one thing that you could never really bring yourself to doing.
Unless you have been there it is hard to understand where someone who is suffering severe depression is coming from.